The Allure of High School Reunions
"The past is never where you think you left it."
Katherine Anne Porter

The past. It is a work of our imaginations. Most of us, by the time we reach
middle-age, have lived many lives, adding layers to who we are. Some of us
romanticize the past. Some of us have a desire to return to the past, relive
the past, or revive the past.

I hated high school. You couldn't pay me $1,000,000.00 to relive one year or
even one semester of my junior or senior year. Those were the worst two
years of my life. So why would I want to go to my 20th reunion?

Why does anyone want to attend a reunion? Curiosity? Nostalgia? Pride? Was
life easier and more carefree then? We were not quite adults -no
responsibilities of career, family, or mortgage payments. All we had to do
was show up to class or work on time and complete homework assignments. Some
of us had high aspirations for the future, but most of us looked forward to
good times and great parties.

Whatever reasons people have for attending reunions, one fact remains the
same: It's fascinating to be in a room full of people who we haven't seen in
10 or 20 years. They remember you as a budding teenager and now you have
blossomed into an adult with a whole new identity and perhaps family of your
own.

Going back to the past, just for a day or two can provide a sense of
continuity in our highly mobile and fast-paced society. As we return to our
roots, we can see how that foundation has effected our lives. As we get
reacquainted with our classmates, we can learn of all the fascinating and
intriguing lives they've lived beyond high school.

I graduated from Rocky Hill High School in 1980, along with 160 others. Many
of us formed friendships beginning in elementary school and by the time we
graduated high school, we knew everyone by name and were familiar with the
personalities and distinct styles of the other students. Everyone remembers
Charlene, the girl who never wore an outfit twice; Sal and Luanne, the class
couple; and Lisa and Gregg, the star athletes.

Twenty years brings with it successes and challenges, pain and joy. Some
people have ventured out of the state or country, while others barely
changed their zip codes. Many classmates have already had to deal with the
death of a spouse, child, sibling or parent and a few classmates have passed
away.

As time goes by, the painful memories fade and the more lighthearted,
humorous events stand out. I love telling my children about the time a
streaker ran across the soccer field. For the life of me, I couldn't keep a
straight face as I pretended to pay attention to the English teacher, while
the corner of my eye kept glancing out the window.

How about the time I went home sick on a Friday afternoon. I was taking an
advanced biology course and needed to bring home a cat for dissection. Here
was this stiff cat with its legs stretched out in an enormous, clear plastic
bag. The quickest way out to the car was through the crowded lunchroom. If I
walked quickly, it would take maybe ten seconds to sneak out. Well, the
second I headed for the door, the lunchroom became suddenly quiet and all
eyes were on me. Oh, how this must have shocked the squeamish and disgusted
the hungry!

There are a few stories some of my friends will never let me forget. "Lynn,
remember the Aerosmith concert?" Yeah, yeah. After the warm-up band was
finished, a friend escorted me to the restroom. I needed to toss my cookies
bad. Real bad. There were over 100 women crammed into the restroom and my
body just couldn't wait in that long line. With the force of Niagra Falls,
out came those cookies. I knew it was rude and inappropriate, but I couldn't
contain the force of nature. Once again, a silence fell upon the room, but
this time people cleared out quickly. Some shouted obscenities as my friend
Diane led me to a stall. After I regained my composure, we headed back out
to enjoy the concert, even though the whole coliseum appeared to be
spinning.

Although most of us have our sights set on the future, there's something
alluring about travelling back in time and spending an evening with people
you had a history with. I wonder if they too have realized all their dreams
and have carved out an interesting and meaningful life. Was high school the
highlight of the prom queen's life? Have the most popular students formed
friendships beyond their circle of friends?

High school is a time for sorting out our identities and forming values.
Those teenage years can be awkward ones, both emotionally and physically.
And those of us who have had little or no contact with our classmates only
have the memories of emerging adults. Like me, I'm sure that many have
changed dramatically during the past twenty years.

 When you arrive at your future, will you blame your past? - Robert Half

--

Mary Etheridge