Posted on Monday, April 29, 2002
The Beacon Journal

Reunions are times to enjoy
Wear comfortable shoes, warm smile, readers say

Oh, group hug and smooches all around.

To all of you responding to my pleas for advice on attending my 25th high
school reunion, I sincerely thank you. I received nearly 70 e-mails and
phone calls offering everything from color advice ("earth tones'') to
spiritual guidance ("anchor yourself in Christ''). One man even offered to
be my date if I happened to be single. (I'm happily married, thank goodness.
But it was nice of you to ask.)

Some who responded were professional image consultants or clothing retailers
offering their advice and services, but most who wrote or called were
everyday people who had survived similar experiences with grace and style.

Reader Judith Cross said she doesn't bother going to her reunions. She keeps
in touch with those she cares about and chooses to ignore the rest. But, she
said, if I insisted on going, I should consider Botox, the botulism toxin
approved for wrinkle treatment.

``It kind of freezes your face, but that will help you too.'' I won't be
able to display shocked facial expressions when confronted by aging
classmates, she said.

Reader Joan Hawley sent me an eight-point missive packed with fashion
advice, including ``no pleated pants.'' They make just about everyone look
fat, she wrote.

Renita Johnson, who works in the Beacon Journal classified department, kept
her advice as simple as the classic clothes she suggested: ``Think Jackie
O,'' she wrote.

One 72-year-old caller told me to just be myself and have fun. It was advice
I received from many of you. This wise and charming lady said she returns to
all her school reunions. And no matter how many years it's been, her former
classmates still twitter when she's seen chatting with her former beau at
the punch bowl.

``Oh for heaven's sake,'' she said. ``We've both been married to other
people for years, but people get stuck back in high school. They are going
to say what they're going to say, no matter what, so don't worry about it.''

Deb Palmer said the very best thing I could wear would be ``a genuine smile;
interested, inquisitive eyes'' and a ``warm handshake.''

Show sincere interest and be a good listener, she suggested, and no one will
care what I'm wearing.

Ron and Dorothy Taiclet suggested that ``to be interesting, be interested in
everyone.'' And stay away from the ``B&B'' -- bragging and boasting. No one
will believe you anyway.

Kathy Ress remembers fretting about what to wear to her 25th reunion nine
years ago and said she ended up looking like she had donned a flowered
bedspread. Her rose-colored shoes were ``really bad'' and pinched her toes.

``I remember once I got to the big night, I really didn't care what anyone
had on,'' she wrote. She enjoyed dancing the night away, barefooted, with
her friends, she said. Nine years older and wiser, she won't fret when faced
with her 35th.

Image consultant Anne Cannon wrote a long note outlining the elements of
good style. First, she said, it's important to know your body type, fashion
personality and what colors work best on you. Orange may look great on
drapes, but not on most people, she said.

Reader Kristy Benson, who calls herself a crafter and reunion absentee, said
I shouldn't abandon the idea of the little black dress so easily. Why not
dress it up with an accessory that has sentimental value such as a
grandmother's brooch or handmade scarf? It would not only provide emotional
comfort, but also serve as a conversation starter.

Many readers suggested wearing a dressy, tailored pantsuit. It is classic
and classy, they said, and never inappropriate.

I can't say that all my clothing issues have been completely solved, but
you've certainly helped. I'll stay away from pleated pants, cheap clothes
and uncomfortable shoes. No flowered bedspreads.

And I'll arm myself with my listening skills and a warm smile. With the good
wishes of readers behind me, that part should be easy.